Just staying up late

Well, a record deal seems to me like putting a high school grad in the operating room with a fresh pair of scissors. It's gonna get messy. But this is what I ache for. The chance to let it all out. To produce. I want to step up daily and make decisions. And experience the results. I can make it sound professional and scientific but really I'm exploding inside.

Sitting in a dark room thinking about stuff like this at 1:14 in the morning is a bit overwhelming. Not really having anything but night and time on my hands. No real resolution but to dig in and think hard. But where does thinking land me but some apartment in New York City, five years from right now. Thinking about my next album and who I want to play on it. Who I want to ask to produce it and what studio we should use. The trick is to imagine my life, what I want it to be, and it naturally ends up that way. It is just so easy to waste time worrying about how. I'm going to do these great grand things that my grandma would smile so big to know about. And the only thing to do now is to dig in deep and write. But where does writing get me but into a few homes of friends and family and songwriters and who knows where else. Hopefully, a conversation.